When Teaching Black Girls-A Black Male Teacher’s Guide.
In my few years as an educator, I’ve had such a wealth of experiences with a diverse group of students from various cultures, races, social classes, and ages. One important rule I’ve learned is that each group or subgroup requires a different approach to teaching styles. This means that as an educator you have to be well-versed and prepared to cater to each student based on their specific needs. In particular, I’ve discovered that there is a unique approach/relationship between the black male teacher and black girls; though black male teachers are known for having the biggest impact on black boys.
In the black community, we know how important black male educators are. According to (kipp.org) “Since 2014, ethnic and racial minorities make up more than half of the student population in U.S. public schools, yet about 80 percent of teachers are white and 77 percent of them are female. People of color make up about 20 percent of teachers; a mere 2 percent are black men.”. These statistics are alarming, to say the least, but more so a reality check for our community to realize how important and influential black male teachers are for the development of our children.
As I navigated through a few elementary schools, I discovered that there is more to being a black male teacher than exclusively mentoring and setting a good example for black boys. There was one story in particular that taught me a lesson I would never forget:
THE DIVAS
One particular elementary school I was working at, there was a group of young black girls who were newly added to my majority-black boy class. Week after week, I got attitude after attitude, day after day, class after class. I just didn’t understand why; was it what I said? Or maybe my tone?
Every time I asked them to do something, they huffed and puffed on their way to do it. As a teacher, it was very frustrating, and in a way stressful to deal with every day. Our class was in the gym where we played flag football and every day we had a warm-up routine that consisted of a character development chant, pushups, jumping Jax, and stretching. As classes continued, I noticed that during the push-ups and sit-ups they displayed a sense of shyness, reserve, and more attitude. I had to ask myself,” Have I considered the fact that this class is taught by a black man and crowded with black boys who already are 100% interested in football?“. I came to realize that their anger and reserve wasn’t personally towards me, but rather the fact that they felt uncomfortable and “not welcomed” by the “all boys class”.
IMPACT 1: Though they gave me attitude, it was very important that I showed up every day with a good attitude displaying that my character was consistent. Also, that even though they made me want to pull my beard hair out, I still saw good/talent in them and as my students, they deserved my respect and 100% effort; not some days, but every day.
After a few games, I noticed the boys having smart remarks about the skill set or athleticism of the new group of girls that were added to the class.
IMPACT 2: This was my opportunity to set the tone for the way this class would operate for the remainder of the year. I stopped the game, huddled everyone up demanding silence and attention. I stated: ” I will not tolerate disrespect or judgment in my class based on rather you are a girl or a boy! And to be quite honest some of you guys skills aren’t even all that polished! Everyone has improvements to make and areas where they can grow, the next time I hear any smart remarks we are gonna have a problem! Also, everybody deserves to have a chance to catch the ball, we will no longer play favorites, now apologize! “.
As the classroom environment changed, I noticed the teamwork and excitement amongst the girls and boys. More handshakes for good plays, more screams of excitement when the girls make amazing plays, and more smiles on the faces of those who had frowns just a few weeks ago.
IMPACT 3: The relations during flag football time were much improved but there was still a form of resistance and uncomfortableness amongst the girls during warm-ups. Every day the young ladies would ask me, “Can we do girl push-ups please?” and sarcastically confused I would ask them “tell me, what exactly is a girls push-up?”. They would go on to display the “girl push-up” as the boys blushed and chuckled amongst themselves. I stated: “Listen, young ladies, there is no such thing as a ‘girl push-up’ there is only a real push-up and a fake one. My expectations for you guys are the same as any other boy in this classroom, you are just as capable as ANYONE to perform these tasks correctly, now get to pushing!”. Of course, they huffed and puffed and lazily performed the task awkwardly as a group while the boys watched in silence. They may not have understood the power of this moment, but hopefully one day they will. In a few weeks, there was an extreme increase in warmup participation by the young ladies even to the point they were outdoing some of the boys! I stood there jumping for joy inside while keeping my poker face on the outside.
IMPACT 4: As their comfortability increased many of the young girls started coming to me at the beginning of the class asking to lead the chant and warmup routine! Without even second guessing I said absolutely! What a joy, to watch these young girls take over the room with the confidence and positive attitudes I always knew they possessed. It was amazing watching the class environment switch so drastically and become more overall balanced.
As the weeks passed and I showed up consistently with the same behavior, encouragement, and expectations; the students who were the biggest pain in the behind would soon become my favorite students. The frowns and attitudes grew into beautiful smiles, laughs, and hugs at the beginning of each class. It was such a transformation that it brought me to disbelief like whoa, is this happening right now? It was and it was such a therapeutic feeling, one I will never forget. As the year came to an end it was time for teachers to give their last remarks to their classes, especially my Divas leaving 6th grade to go to middle school. The year ended so well and it was time to celebrate. There was food, music, and games, celebrating another successful year. I knew this would probably be my last day seeing them so I brought them all a special gift, a book about self-love and confidence authored by a black woman colleague of mine. I approached them nervously as I started to voice my appreciation to them for taking my class and excelling despite their trials and tribulations. As I stumbled over my words in emotions, I noticed tears coming down their faces as well. I had never experienced this before, but it was confirmation that I served my purpose and was successful in investing in their development as young black women who are often in spaces that are tough for them. We all wiped tears and hugged as I gave them the spill about avoiding peer pressure and boys in the upcoming stage, emphasizing how important self-love and confidence is for survival!
END OF STORY
CONCLUSION
This story taught me that black men have a special place in the lives of our young women. Sometimes we must remember our character and the example we set is bigger than teaching boys how to be men, and due to the state of our community and how important it is to raise black boys into men, we oftentimes forget that.
I emphasized particular parts of the story because I believe they were pivotal factors in having an impact on these young women.
IMPACT 1: It’s important that as a black man when it comes to children in any setting you must display consistency. Whether they may or may not have experienced abandonment issues, you must serve as a person they remember that showed up day in and day out, with smiles, love, and effort. For black girls, my consistency with high expectations, gentle discipline, and a great attitude truly gained their trust despite the constant attitudes i received. Every day was a new day.
IMPACT 2: It is important that as black men we defend our girls when we see moments of unfairness. Not to play favorites to black boys just because they are more familiar with the task at hand. When you defend our young girls it shows them that you will protect them in instances where they may feel like the world is against them. It also shows that you are holding others accountable for their wrongdoings and when doing so consistently it shows solidarity and support.
IMPACT 3: It is also important as black men that we hold our children to the same expectations regardless of gender. Lowering them based on gender is only crippling their development and playing into societal definitions of child capability. Though a child may be mad, they still understand and appreciate the fact that you believe in them just as much as any other child. For black girls, this is particularly important because very rarely (according to statistics) do they get this type of experience from black men in educational settings, let alone black men under the age of 25.
Impact 4: It is important that in different spaces black men show support and motivate black girls to step up, be brave, and hold leadership positions. This further shows our belief in their capabilities and that their gender does not cripple their leadership skills. This also shows black boys that you must always leave space for women to hold leadership; denial of that is unacceptable. Together we are strong, divided we are weak.
These Impact points, in my opinion, are factors that led to me being able to gain their trust, respect, and admiration as a black male figure in their lives. I hope that more young black men in education read this and learn from my experiences. Many times this relationship in the black community isn’t always spotlighted, but I’m honored to bring it to the masses on my platform.
PS: I called them The DIVAS because they would show up to class glamoured out from head to toe, with personalities that could shake any room! At the same time they excelled and were successful regardless of the odds against them.
